Visit Zeta Reticuli

The Official-ish Tourism Board of Zeta Reticuli · 39 light-years from your door

Two suns.
No waiting.

Warm seas, long sunsets (two of them), and a welcome so gentle you won't remember most of it. Complimentary pickup from most rural fields, lonely highways and select cornfields.

Build my itinerary Read the advisories
Vintage travel poster: two suns, one gold and one pale, set over a turquoise sea between tall coral mushroom-shaped spires; a silver saucer glides by and gray visitors with large dark eyes lounge under striped umbrellas.

Greetings from the Minister

Dear Earth Visitor,

For decades you have told stories about us. Some of them were rude. We have chosen to take this as interest.

Zeta Reticuli is a pair of sun-like stars, comfortably apart, with plenty of room for everyone. We have beaches, museums, a moon set aside entirely for quiet, and the finest night market in the Reticulum. We also have paperwork, but very little of it involves you, and none of it hurts.

Come for the sunsets. Stay because the shuttle home only leaves on alternate centuries. (We are working on this.)

Undersecretary Glim,
Ministry of Gentle Welcome

See & do

Six reasons to lose track of time. Every attraction is abduction-optional.

The Twin Sunset Coast

The gold sun sets. You applaud. Then the pale one sets, and you applaud again, slightly embarrassed. Locals call this "the encore."

2 days · beach · SPF 400 advised

Retro postcard of a hotel shaped like three stacked flying saucers on a cliff above a violet desert, with a kidney-shaped pool, a monorail and two suns on the horizon.

The Saucer Spire Hotel

Three floors, all of them rotating at slightly different speeds. Request a room on the middle saucer if you want to experience every view without moving at all.

Overnight · luxury · gravity on request

The Grand Probe Museum

A sensitive, beautifully lit history of curiosity, ours and yours. The gift shop sells plush probes. Please stop making that face.

Half day · culture · not what you think

The Hum Fields

Where our field artists practiced before their famous tours of rural Earth. Walk the original patterns at dawn. Some of them spell "hello." Some of them spell "oops."

1 day · art · bring boots

The Quiet Moon

An entire moon where nobody is allowed to speak, beep, hum, or think too loudly. Arrivals are greeted with a small nod. Departures are greeted with a smaller nod.

3 days · wellness · no talking

The Night Market of Lesser Grays

Two thousand stalls, one currency (curiosity), and the best fried star-moth in the Reticulum. Haggling is expected. Staring is reciprocated.

1 night · food · bring questions

Build your itinerary

Choose your stops and your pickup. The Ministry will compute the rest, including travel time, lost time, and what to pack.

1 · Where to?
2 · Pickup
3 · Route

Ministry of Gentle Welcome · Visitor Itinerary

The Gentle Weekend

Stops
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Length
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Lost time (est.)
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Pack: —

Hold my seat

Current travel advisories

Issued by the Ministry for the safety of all visitors. Updated whenever someone remembers.

  1. Level 1 · Exercise normal cautionTwin Sunset Coast. Two suns means two sunburns, one on each side. Rotate hourly.
  2. Level 2 · Exercise increased cautionLost Time Advisory, system-wide. Visitors report misplacing two to three hours. They are at the Lost and Found desk in Terminal B, labeled by owner. Please collect them before departure.
  3. Level 3 · Reconsider travelThe Hum Fields at harvest. Tourists standing still for too long have been accidentally incorporated into the art. They are fine. They are very popular.
  4. Level 4 · Do not travelEarth (advisory for Reticulan citizens). Natives point, film, and post. Vehicles parked in fields are photographed from very far away and slightly out of focus. Citizens are advised to stay home or, if they must go, to land somewhere with better lighting.
Retro illustration of a gray alien attendant in a little tourism cap and neck scarf at a round information kiosk, holding out a blank folded map to a startled human tourist in a sun hat with a suitcase; a parked saucer and two suns outside the window.

Visitor Center, Terminal B

Our attendants are trained in seventeen human languages and one human facial expression (surprise). Ask them anything.

Souvenirs collected: 0 of 0

    The gift shop is not open yet

    We are thinking about making real souvenirs. Tap what you would actually buy. Nothing is charged; this tells us what to make.

    Get postcards from the Ministry

    Occasional dispatches from the Board: new attractions, revised advisories, and first dibs if the poster prints become real.